Friday, October 1, 2010

What I Have Learned in College So Far

-I really don't know what I am talking about most of the time. When I do know what I am talking about, it is through no feat of my own.

-Everything relates back to Dante.

-Whenever something is burning or firey, the gods are involved, and that is always bad.

-Do not go into caves.

-17 Torrey students find it impossible to define what a hero is, given three hours with which to determine an answer. Hercules defines it in three seconds.

-Dante's Divine Comedy was not meant to be funny.

-As far as one-up-ing goes in the war of epic poetry, Hercules wins. Apparently Disney beats Homer, Virgil, and Dante...

-Limbo = being at APU with your car totaled. Ante-Purgatory = being at Biola, sitting at the Fluer Fountain with a latte in your hand with your car broke down while you are wanting to be at Disneyland with your Torrey group. Purgatory = being caught in traffic on your way to Disneyland.

-Plato and play-doh make life better.

-Church ladies are Stalin.

-If you have an affectionate tour guide, you know you're in Hell.

-Hercules is much more entertaining when you can critique how terribly it reflects true Greek mythology.

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