Wonder

When I hear something really great, I like to ponder it for a while. Sometimes that while turns into a long while. If it's something funny, I am likely to write it down in my quote book or post it on Facebook. If it is a serious quote, I am likely to write it in the back of my Torrey Bible, write in my journal about it, write a blog post about it, text it to one of my friends, go on and on about it when I talk to someone, or all of the above.

I went to Grace Evangelical Free Church in La Mirada for church this morning. I was struck anew with something that I try to constantly remember, but constantly fail: wonder.

Wonder is a tricky thing. You can't try to wonder: that defeats the purpose. True, real, genuine wonder is not something you can practice and become good at. Which means that when you have been raised in a Christian family, gone to Christian schools for your whole life, and areat a Christian college...you have to find new ways to rediscover the wonder of God's love.

The text for the sermon was on Isaiah 42 and 43. In chapter 42, especially near the end, Isaiah tells Israel what royal idiots they are. Which reminds me of myself. I am such a royal idiot sometimes. More than sometimes. But Isaiah goes on to say in chapter 43 that God loves Israel anyway. He deeply loves Israel. He knows them by name, claims them as His people, gives men in exchange for them, holds them as precious to Himself. Even though they are idiots who constantly disobey Him.

So often I forget how potent the word of God is. If I take time to really look at it, it can renew my wonder for God's love. Reading certain verses still gives me chills even though I have read those same verses at least a hundred times.

I forget how much of an idiot I am. How I fail to trust God. How I fail to look to Him in so many areas. How I still think of myself first instead of others. And the sad thing is, I rarely see it when I'm doing it. But when I do see it, it makes me repulsed with myself.

Then I read verses like Isaiah 43 and realize that God loves this dirty little thing known as me. He sees me as precious, and He tells me He loves me. It fills me with wonder and how this could possibly be.

One quote from the sermon: "Our wonder for God is our witness to Him."

I want people to see my wonder for God and say, "Has she really known God for years? His love still seems so wonderful to her. I want that."