Dang it!

I was on the radio yesterday, and I really enjoyed it. But now I can't stop thinking about how I should have said one thing instead of another, or how I didn't mention a certain thing, or how I probably sounded like a ditz. I wish I had mentioned the doubts I went through during my junior year of high school. I had it all written out in my notes, but I was determined not to read off my notes (and I had no idea how long the little bio spiel was supposed to last). That's what happens when you're a debater. You know you could talk forever, so you cut it short, hoping you didn't ramble for too long, but also said at least something half-way decent.

Then I worry that I sounded like this little high schooler who has just the peachy little life and gets to go to amazing colleges because she's a spoiled rich kid. Well, I'm not a high schooler (anymore), and I don't have a peachy little life (which I failed to mention because a) I forgot and b) I didn't want to talk about certain parts of it on live radio). About the spoiled part...I guess that all depends on your perspective. I would definitely call myself blessed, but not really spoiled. And I'm not rich. At all. And I guess people who really know me won't get that impression, or at the very least, won't tell me that they got that impression.

To be honest, I can't even remember everything I said. It went by really fast. I remember trying not to burst out laughing when the host played those nutty sound clips (including but not limited to some Aslan quote from the Narnia movie or the radio drama series or something, the Oompa Loompa song, the "Imagination" song from the old Willy Wonka movie, something about nerds [at least it wasn't in reference to me] and a laugh track.) I also remember laughing into the mic, probably sounding like a giggly little junior higher. Great.

On a similar-yet-not-so-similar note, I got lost in the parking lot trying to find the radio station. How does one get lost in a parking lot?!

Lazy Summer Days

If you know me, you know that I don't like to spend my days doing nothing. I would much rather be in school than be sitting around my house doing nothing. I like to be productive, and I like to be around people.

Which means it is quite odd that I have found myself with an entire summer without a job, summer school, or much else to do. Not that I'm completely deprived of activity. I still have volunteer stuff to do, Homer's Iliad to read, college to pack and plan for, friends to talk to, odd jobs to do, and errands to run. But after a school year chock-full of deadlines, projects, applications, and senior year paraphenalia, summer feels very...lazy.

But then I got thinking...maybe this lazy summer is a good thing. I like to be busy, but during my senior year, the ordered chaos of high school got a little too busy and cost me my health and endangered my safety, not to mention the safety of those around me. Could God be using a seemingly useless summer to teach me to rest and relax in Him? To teach me that I don't have to always be doing something to be loved and accepted by Him? That there's more to life than busy-ness?

I think it is quite possible.